In the whirlwind of modern life, it's easy to feel untethered, especially for those of us who have navigated the complexities of a late neurodivergent diagnosis.
But what if I told you that the secret to a more grounded, self-connected, and regulated nervous system lies in something as simple—and profound—as everyday rituals?
The Historic Relevance and Societal Importance of Ritual
Throughout history, rituals have played a vital role in human societies. From ancient ceremonies that honoured the cycles of nature to daily practices that connected individuals to their communities and deities, rituals were the threads that wove the fabric of communal and individual life.
For our ancestors, rituals provided a sense of belonging, structure, and meaning. They marked important transitions, celebrated successes, and offered solace in times of grief.
Cultures around the world—from the elaborate ceremonies of the Maori to the daily tea rituals of the Japanese—have understood the deep human need for these mindful practices.
Rituals can be healing and supportive in ways we cannot always predict. Research by Norton and Gino (2014) highlights how rituals can help individuals cope with emotional distress and grief, providing much-needed relief in our fast-paced lives.
The Loss of Ritual in Modern Life
Today, the pace of life often leaves little room for these moments of connection. We rush from task to task, our minds scattered, our bodies tense. The constant bombardment of information and the relentless pressure to "hustle" can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves and our surroundings.
This loss of ritual can have significant impacts on our well-being. Without these intentional pauses, our nervous systems can remain in a state of constant arousal, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout.
For neurodivergent individuals, who may already experience heightened sensitivities and stress responses, the absence of grounding rituals can be particularly detrimental.
Bringing Ritual into Your Everyday Life
The good news is that we can reclaim the power of ritual in our daily lives. We can create moments of calm, presence, and self-connection by approaching everyday acts with more intention and connection.
Here are seven ways to infuse your day with meaningful rituals:
1. Morning Mindfulness: Start your day with a few minutes of mindfulness. Whether it's deep breathing, some EFT, stretching, or simply enjoying a cup of tea without distractions, this practice can set a positive tone for the day. My favourite way to start my day is to take a few moments watching the birds in my garden.
2. Intentional Meals: Treat meals as sacred pauses. Savour each bite, notice the flavours, and appreciate the nourishment. This practice can turn eating into a mindful and pleasurable experience - not something you do whilst scrolling your phone and half watching the TV!
Set an intention to have a screen-free meal once a week and see what difference it makes to how you feel
3. Nature Connection: Spend time in nature, even if it's just a walk in the park or tending to a houseplant. Nature has a grounding effect and can help regulate your nervous system. As Bessel van der Kolk explains in his book "The Body Keeps the Score," connecting with nature can be a powerful tool for calming the body and mind.
4. Evening Reflection: End your day with a reflection ritual. Consider what went well, what challenges you faced, and what you're looking forward to. This practice can help you process your day and prepare for restful sleep.
For over 2 years now, I have been keeping a "glimmers journal" and noting down 3 things from the day that brought me joy before I go to bed. It's a ritual I love as it encourages me to find the good, even on bad days and go to bed thinking of those things with a sense of gratitude and appreciation
5. Intentional Tidying Up: Transform your tidying-up routine into a mindful ritual. Instead of rushing through the process, approach it with intention and presence. As you tidy, focus on each item, appreciating its place in your life.
Notice the textures, colours, and the satisfaction of creating an organised space. This ritual has the added benefit of creating an environment that is more regulating as clutter and mess can often stress our nervous system too.
And remember - this approach can apply to simply tidying your desk or one room, you don't have to do your whole home in one go!
6. Mindful Skincare Routine: Turn your skincare routine into a soothing ritual. As you cleanse and moisturise your skin, be fully present in the moment. Pay attention to the sensations of the products on your skin, the scents, and the act of caring for yourself. This can be a wonderful way to start or end your day with self-love and mindfulness.
You can even do this with something as simple as putting on hand cream or lip balm throughout the day. (witch tip - add some more magic by weaving in affirmations of self-love and you enjoy these moments of tenderness).
7. Walking Meditation: Incorporate walking meditation into your daily routine. This involves walking slowly and deliberately, paying close attention to each step and your surroundings. Focus on the sensations of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the sights and sounds around you.
This can be done in a park, your neighbourhood, or even indoors. All you have to do is leave your phone behind and allow yourself to be present.
The Benefits of Everyday Rituals
Incorporating these rituals into your life can have profound benefits. They can help you feel more grounded and connected to yourself, reduce stress, and regulate your nervous system. This, in turn, can enhance your relationships, improve your work performance, and boost your overall well-being. It's win, win WIN!
When we approach everyday acts with intention and presence, we create opportunities for self-connection and healing. We begin to honour our unique rhythms and needs, fostering a deeper sense of self-acceptance and joy.
Embrace the Magic of Ritual
For late-diagnosed neurodivergent women, reclaiming the power of ritual can be a transformative journey. It's about making space for yourself in a world that often demands conformity and hustle. It's about finding moments of peace and connection amid chaos.
So, let's embrace the magic of everyday rituals. Let's weave them into the fabric of our lives and rediscover the joy and meaning they bring. After all, it's in these small, intentional moments that we truly come home to ourselves.
Looking for more on Rituals? I love what Michael Norton shares in his book Rituals - you can see him talk about that more here in this short video. You can also check out my mini membership The Regulation Room where you get access to a new self-connection practice which includes a step by step ritual. Click the image below to find out more
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