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3 questions to ask yourself when feeling disconnected

If you are feeling that the season’s joys are yet to visit you this year, you could well be experiencing overwhelm and burnout. Your nervous system could be simply switched to “numb” whilst it attempts to deal with everything you are already carrying.

And it’s not surprising. Almost 3 years into what has been coined a permacrisis (the dizzying lurch from one unprecedented crisis to another), that life has not actually returned to normal (and perhaps will never) and yet, many of us are trying to boldly carry on as we did before - hiding our exhaustion with it all behind big smiles and shiny Instagram posts.

So, perhaps it's time for you to be different too? Perhaps it's time for you to switch off autopilot and look at life a little differently

Here are questions you can ask yourself to better understand and explore why your jingle bell may be feeling more like jangly hell.

When was the last you were able to press pause?

This year, you may have been trying to make up for all the things you missed out on during the 2020-21 lockdowns.

Holidays, seeing friends and family, days out and nights out, concerts and theatre trips - all on top of life, work and family obligations.

The much-longed-for return to “normal” has been welcomed for many reasons, but it has also brought with it a bit of an extended energetic hangover that may be catching up with you - just as the year gets extra hectic. Even if you are someone who feels lifted up and energised by the company of others, social rest is something we all need from time to time so we can restore our batteries and it could be that yours are in need of a recharge.

Pressing pause and taking some time to yourself is not just about occasional bubble baths and yoga time, it’s about being able to deepen and maintain that connection you have with yourself and what matters to you so you can feel aligned and connected to your life and how you want it to look. It may also mean having challenging conversations and enforcing boundaries so that time you want for yourself doesn't get lost in doing things for other people. What would it take for you to be able to hit pause for a while and how can you make that happen?

When was the last time you expressed your feelings?

The last few years have been some of the most turbulent in recent history for multiple reasons, so it’s important to remember that whatever has been happening to you on a personal level has been against the background of immense global fuckery.

All of that has an impact on your nervous system and your sense of safety as your system remains on high alert looking for new potential threats. Grief, anger, frustration, sadness, fear – emotions we are conditioned to hide and suppress rather than embrace and explore.

Holding onto emotions in this way can impact your capacity to manage stress, leaving you feeling more prone to feelings of overwhelm and symptoms of burnout. And so the spiral continues as your capacity decreases, feeding more anxiety into your system so you feel like you are constantly living at the edge of your ability to cope. What do you need to have/know/understand so you can connect to, express and release the feelings you have been holding on to?

How often do you give yourself what you want?

Many of us identify with people-pleasing behaviour – putting the needs of others before our own and seeking conformity over conflict.

But where does that leave you and your sense of fulfilment and satisfaction? If you are living for the approval of others, then rejection and disappointment can feel like daggers to your heart. Living for yourself, for what is important to you and knowing deep down you are innately worthy beyond anyone else’s judgements or expectations means you can explore what it means and how it feels to have your own needs and wants met as the first thought, not an afterthought. What do you want and who do you need to be to have it?

Answering these questions may throw up some interesting answers - perhaps some things about yourself that you had lost contact with, but also maybe some familiar old patterns and stories.

If you are ready for your 2023 to be different, now is the time to take action and invest in yourself because If any (perhaps all?) of the above feels all too familiar, then now is when you get to decide that next year will be different; now is when you take action and take back control of your life.

Doors for Reconnect are now open for the Winter round - 3 months of group coaching and training in a supportive space for you to come back to yourself. Find out more here, doors close 19.12.22 and spaces are limited.


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