12 faces of self connection
Here are 12 themes of self-connection that I think are a good place to start – they’re also the 12 themes for each month of the Reconnect group programme where doors are open now. More on that below.
Self-connection is not a simple thing of there or not there, on or off.
It’s a complex dance of multiple factors and without having an awareness of what they are, it can be really easy for disconnection to sneak in and for you to not realise until old habits and unhelpful thoughts are storming the castle (I’ve been reading/watching Blood & Fire – can you tell?)
Reset. Every now and then, you may catch yourself as that wave of overwhelm sweeps over you.
Quite often, we carry on – aware of the overwhelm but not taking action against it.
Reset is an invitation to press pause for a moment; take time to notice the feelings; release what needs to be released and then taking a bit of time to bring intention in.
Taking the time to notice; pause and bring intention back into your actions can help you reset the internal and influences that are impacting you. There will always be times when it feels everything is happening at once, but if that is **All The Time** then it’s time to reset and take back control from autopilot.
Reveal. Do you know your shadow side and how it can show up? Your shadow is the parts of you that you do not usually share with others, and they may be parts that are hidden from your conscious mind as well.
Shadow aspects act from the subconscious and if left unchecked can manifest as self-limiting behaviours such as a harsh inner critic; people pleasing and perfectionism.
Reveal is about looking behind the curtain to reveal your shadow side; getting to know it better and making friends with what you find there.
Retune. In a world where we are constantly fed a stream of data – insights, algorithms; open rates; follower numbers, engagement stats etc – it can feel like we have to get external information before we can make decisions.
But what about your own internal guidance system – your intuition?
Intuition is a strong, but quiet voice and it can get drowned out by all those external voices and expectations. Retuning to your intuition so you can connect with not only what it sounds like, but also what it feels like can open up access to a very wise source of guidance that is aligned with your best interests; your needs and your wants.
Remember. It can be easy to forget who you really are when fitting in becomes the name of the game. From the moment we start school, we learn that to fitting in is better then being excluded and we give up parts of yourself along the way – sacrifices for the sake of conformity.
Remembering is about coming back to the parts of us that we have hidden away for the sake of feeling external acceptance, so you can find the joy that comes from being and doing what you love most.
Reclaim. You give so much of yourself away in small actions every day. Saying yes to things you don’t really want to do; buying things you don’t actually need; being someone’s energetic shoulder to cry on, moan to, seek guidance from - even though you have your own worries to deal with.
Reclaim is about creating, communicating and maintaining healthy boundaries so you can protect your time, energy, money whilst also still be open to connection and reciprocity from others. Boundaries are not just about keeping things out – they are also there to create a sacred container of self, a space for you to be yourself and tend to your needs and your wants too.
Resist. “What do you really want? “A question that often has one response that comes to mind and then that response is met with a flood of reason that leads you to talk yourself out of actually wanting it.
Looking at what you resist is about getting back to your heart’s desire, your true passion, dreams and life visions without looking at them through the lens of external conditioning and then daring to want it more, and to explore what it could look like to move from wanting to having…
Rebuild. Desire, intuition, boundaries – all great stuff to have from a point of self-connection, but they become very flimsy and fragile if there is no underlying trust to back them up.
Without self-trust, we seek guidance from external sources once more and our inner capacity crumbles. Autopilot kicks back in.
Rebuilding self-trust comes from starting with a bit of faith in yourself to take that first step and that no matter the outcome – you will be ok. Taking regular bold action (even little steps) to show self-trust will support you to build a bank of evidence that shows you can really do hard things.
Reimagine. How often to you take the time to day dream? To pause and reimagine your life if you took a different path, or imagine what your ideal future could look like.
Day dreaming, visioning, imagining “what if” are actually powerful self-connection tools where you can tap into that liminal space between conscious and subconscious to get some divine guidance on what could be possible for you is you dared to take action.
It’s an opportunity and an invitation to notice what about your life you love and want more of, and what is not feeling so great and needs some attention to adjust? Intentional, regular reimagining is a way to stay connected to your needs and wants, keeping autopilot on pause and keeping you in control of the direction life is flowing.
Rebirth. Imagining your life is one thing, embodying it is the connection power boost that will show you what it could feel like to have that ideal life. Rebirth is about looking to the future, yes but also bringing that future closer by embodying the qualities of that ideal life now.
Embodiment is a really powerful self-connection tool as it brings idea and dream into action – embodied action – where you can experience the exact feelings you are looking to have more of. You can be more confident, more courageous and calmer when you practice embodiment.
Relive. If rebirth is looking to the future for guidance, relive is about looking back for inspiration to your inner child. Reconnecting with what brought you joy as a child is a beautiful way to bring more joy, creativity and light into your life.
Relive is an invitation to let your inner child be your muse and your mentor – that part of you that only seeks joy and wants to play has much to remind you of how good it can be just to have fun and that making time for play is actually an essential part of being a healthy, happy adult (even though society tells us otherwise!)
Rebel. We all have an inner rebel, but how often do you let them have a say?
Connecting with the part of you that wants to push back on the rules, break free of convention and do there own thing can be a way to connect with your values, your passion and your anger.
Your inner rebel wants to have their say – and perhaps letting them do so will create more connection as you find others who feel the same way you do.
Expressing what makes you angry, what you feel as injustice; what fires up your passion is just as important as making time to play with your inner child, or connect with your future self.
Revisit. This last one is a bit of a cheat as it represents not one thing but a constant action of revisiting these themes to better understand where you may need to focus your attention on your self-connection journey. As I said at the beginning, self-connection is a constant art of balancing different aspects so rather than leave it to chance – make it a regular practice to check in with all those parts of you and see what needs attention.